My life has changed COMPLETELY after my surgery. As I started dropping weight, I started feeling more energetic.
Weekends no longer needed ‘down time’: I was fine the next morning. I could walk so much more, and do so much more without needing to sit down. I started to spend more active time with my daughter, I started participating in runs. It was a great experience to be able to do something like a 5k run, although I was mostly walking briskly, but not lose my breath and feel great afterwards.
In terms of family, apart from my avid supporters, there was a sense of confusion. I no longer ‘fit’ into expected pigeonholes, I was no longer a ready ‘target’: further, many people did not understand what had happened. Most people thought I had ‘finally’ gone on a diet and solved my problem, and so they asked me my secret. There was a general ‘gushing’ response : but at the root of it was a lack of understanding of any of my transformation. I took it in stride: few people had understood my problem and so very few people would understand how I solved it.
It was much the same in my social circle. Apart from close friends, most people assumed I had gone for some drastic plastic surgery. When asked I mentioned my surgery. But for the most part, I just went with the flow.
Everyone told me I was an inspiration. Such statements have little impact on me. I have spent too long in the wallpaper, and been too rejected for too long to find the appreciation a plus.
It makes me happy to see my family impressed with my added energy, seeing my daughter happy to have me share her interests: simple things like mother -daughter outings are more fun now, because I can do more and share her energy and enthusiasm. My biggest joy is to be able to run with my daughter and dance with her. Seeing her joy in my sharing these moments with her makes it so worth it!!
It makes me happy to see my husband finally ‘respect’ how I have turned my life around. At some level he pushed me to my decision, indirectly. I sometimes wonder if he feels guilty about that. I wish he wouldn’t. His support has meant a lot.
And it makes me happy to see my parents and sister celebrate my liberation and truly rejoice in it. I remember my father once told me that his biggest fear was that he would lose me before time. And now he is happy I am doing all the things he always believed I could do.
I spend a lot of time with children and I can match their energy these days. I am running, painting, exploring theatre..
I am reborn!!